CHRISTMAS SYMPHONY

She whirled around facing the door then bolted. Her heart in her mouth the courage she thought she possesed had jilted. She zapped out of the front door, past the security gates and did not stop when the security man stirred, alert holding the swaying kerosene lamp peering  at the human figure that just passed him.

She stepped out onto the tarred road pausing briefly to get her mental compass functioning; then broke into a jog. It was dark, lonely and cold which heightened her depressed feeling. She looked up at the glowing amber street lights and felt so grateful she would have kissed Okowa.The lights were comforting she could see were she stepped. She realized too late that she ought to have taken the car it was safer but to where? She asked herself. Where did she know she wanted to go. She was disoriented. Watching her son battling for his life had been traumatic so she fled without thinking. David knew the moment she had made that decision he had seen it in her face his eyes balls widened then but he had been distracted and she seized the opportunity.

Temperature dropped rapidly it was a cold wet morning it had rained in the night. Tope inhaled lungs full of chilled air gulping it like a denied addict. It helped sharpen her senses. She increased her pace she had no destination in mind but she moved all the same permitting her legs to guide her. Whatever it was that caused Melody to roam an empty street at 3:am was damn well an emergency.

'Why did I marry David. No really why did I marry david?'  She asked the chilled atmosphere. 'Why???' She said louder. Common sense told her; you loved him thats why.

'Love? I was stupid, I was young. I was Naive. foolish, gullible.'

She considered the options, 'I was stupid' she painfully concluded.

Her inner voice chastised her. That's unfair to david. You are saying you regret marrying him. How is he going to feel if he happens to hear you?

Melody stoped and looked behind her half believing David had succeeded in following her. She loved him dearly. She loved the man without a doubt she knew if they had any idea about their genotype incompatibility earlier, she would have chosen him in-spite of that. She would have forged ahead with the marriage notwithstanding and she knew without a doubt David would have too.

God! Marriage has it's ups and downs but never in her life did she dream she would be tested this bad. She never imagined that it will be her son who would shake her marriage to its very foundations.

The money alone. She shook her head as if to clear the thoughts. The money they had spent would be enough to buy land and begin construction on a small house.
How can I continue like this. A mother's love wont allow her abandon her child but what of the women she had seen the last time Daniel was on admmision ready to ababdon their children who suffered the same fate as Daniel. A woman had seriously fought with a nurse to stop him from administering anymore medications.
Melody remebered what the woman had screamed that day. ' let him die! What is it? I have had enough. I have other children to take care off' she had pushed the nurse away. Melody shook her head again.

'God you said you wont give us anymore than we can bear!' She whispered  with wet cheeks. Impulsively she veered onto a familiar side street and the church loomed into view. She stopped running and began walking instead, her footsteps echoing on the tarred road. 

The sight of the church brought peace.

In the mess of her confused thoughts she was able to think. 'God...God help me. Please,' she prayed.

The church became visible. The small gate was unlocked she opened it and stepped inside the  grounds. A generator was on somewhere and the church was lighted. She increased her pace and stepped into the thresh hold walking past the rows of pews to the altar. A stone art of Jesus on the cross loomed in front of her. She slumped to the floor and began talking to him. Her scattered thoughts forming words.

'God why, why are you letting me go through this why.? Daniel must not die I can not bear it. You  wont give me more than i can bear right? I can't bear it 'am tired. I am tired of watching my son get sick all the time. You said healing is the bread of the children is he not your child lord? he is your child'. She screamed at the stone work.

A door behind the altar opened and an elderly man suprised at the noise walked in, dressed in folded long-sleeve white and trouser. He squinted at the lady huddled at the altar he thought she was quarrelling with an invisible person. He stepped towards her and was taken aback.

 He lifted his wrist checked his watch truly it said 3:50. His face creased into concern. He walked to her and sat on the floor close to where she was.

'Melody'.

She looked up suddenly turned her head sideways in the direction of the voice.
'Pastor oh pastor' she felt relief wash over her. She stood up and wrapped herself around him. ' I am going through terrible times she wailed. Daniel..' She said and her voice trailed. Her eyes were red and she was ashamed of the state she was in. She avoided looking into his eyes. She spoke, looking at his small button nose, his graying brows, his balding head, behind him, just not into his eyes. She thought vulnerability embarrassing.

He had been her pastor for years even acted as the father of the bride on her wedding day. Her father died a long time ago and he had risen up to the occasion filling the void easily and perfectly, having had no child himself. He had walked her down the aisle on the happiest day of her life then it had never occured to any of them it was a wrong match.  The question popped up in her head again if she had known then that it was a wrong genotype match babe would she had still tied the knot.

She wasn't hearing anymore what the old man was saying but she was at peace in his arms. She knew deep down without a doubt she would have gone ahead with the marriage she was not one to give up that easily. She was as stubborn as they come. Yes, she would have tempted fate.

Pastor nudged her to bring back her attention he was telling  her to recite with him;

'The lord is my shepherd. I shall not want, he makes me to lie down in green pastures. Though I walk in the valley of the shadow of death..'  a sob caught in her throat and she choked erupting in coughing spasm.

'Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil for thou art with me thy rod and thy staff they comfort me'. She was not able to continue instead she listened to him and agreed in the spirit as he recited faith scriptures and eventually prayed with her.

'It's still too lonely for you to go out now', he said as they both stood at the church's entrance thirty minutes later, even when yellow and red molue buses had begun revving sleepily past. 

'I will call David' he removed her hands from his shoulder and walking toward the church landline.

'Dad no'.

She called him back. 'I do not want to disturb David.' She said lowering her eyes.

He paused and looked at her with compassion. 'You already have by running away, he needs to know you are safely with me.' He turned and walked into his oval office.

Caroline watched her grandson sleep, his breathing fitful. But at least finally, he was asleep he needed it after hour's of battling convulsion. Now she kept vigil over him checking every twenty minutes his body temperature she won't carelessly allow it to rise again. The dish cloth she used to mop his body was resting at the bottom of a small bowl filled with water which was fast getting cold. She made a mental note to change it. If she used it again the boy would catch a cold.  She could not be battling pneumonia amongst other things. She had her plate filled as it were. She stood up from the chair and checked the windows ensuring they are tightly locked. She went back to the chair picked up the soaked dish cloth and squeezed spreading it on the chair. She picked up the bowl and quietly exited the room checking Daniel one last time.

She walked to the kitchen threw the water in the sink and filled the bowl again.  She turned the tap off. And walked to the living room. Pastor was here, he held melody in his arms. Actually it was more like she was clinging to him. They were seated on the settee, David sat opposite restless. She walked into the living room genuflected before pastor and helped Melody to the room. She could see she was emotionally drained all she needed too was sleep. She would caution her in the morning about running away. It was too early to begin running away it was just too early the journey had still only just begun for her to be running away at any small cough of Daniel's. As she  lowered her to the bed she kissed her cold cheeks.

'Good night dear.'

Melody knew when David entered the room it was almost six pastor had only just left. As he lay beside her exhaustion almost overwhelming him she sighed, turned and hugged him. He had to be up by seven and he had been awake all night. 

'Babe. he wrapped his arms around her. Do not leave us like that again. Do not leave me please.'

                             To be continued...